I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
