these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
