escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
