At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
