True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
