Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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