he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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