I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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