Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
