eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
