i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
