I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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