I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
