She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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