it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
