In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
