I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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