I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
