When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
