I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
this hospital has no fireball
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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