Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
