Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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