You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
