It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
