good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i love accidental penises.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Pooping to opera.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
