he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
