i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Two words: nipple clamps
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