apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
