I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
