I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
