JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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