is your mom at the bar?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
