i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
