I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
