We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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