i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
