Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
