I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
