Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
