I hate your face
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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