Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
