Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
