he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
