i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
