soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think people are normalizing furries
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
