I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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