You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize