Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
