he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
