In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
