He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
