I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
